The Last Supper
by TheDarkOne8703
Summary: It's a craktastic idea gone nuts. The Heroes have dinner together. This is my first shot at humor in years. Please be kind. No flames


The Last Supper  
_The Heroes at their finest_

**Note:** I do not own the characters, they belong to Tim Kring. Um…I'm insane. Yeah. Credit to my sister because this came out of a conversation we had.  
**Timeline:** A/U  
**Genre: **Humor/ General

Across a sprawling table, sat 10 Heroes and three ordinary beings. Each Hero blessed (or cursed) with a power that made them destined to be more than ordinary. At the head of the table sat Mohinder Suresh, since he was the one to learn about the evolution from his father, the man who started it all. Then sat Peter and Nathan, the amazing Petrelli brothers, then Isaac, the prophet who was slightly strung out and humming "Manic Depression" by Jimmy Hendrix. Next, came Matt who was presently reading everyone's thoughts and was deeply afraid of everyone he was sitting around. Then Claire, the indestructible cheerleader and lastly Zack who was scooping out Peter though his hand remained on Claire's thigh. Across from them, the Hawkins/Sanders clan sat in the middle of two Japanese men, one who could stop time and one who mastered both English and Japanese.

Peter sighed; he was leaching all the powers from around him, and could not control which one came out at what time. Micah sat grinning between his parents, DL sat on edge as he stole glances of his wife, who was currently Niki and not her counterpart and she was calmly waiting for dinner to be served. But her patience would only hold out for so long.

"I would like to propose a toast," Mohinder said, raising a glass to everyone around him. "To the Heroes and side kicks…I just realized I am not a hero and am now horribly depressed." He sat and stared with tear filled eyes at the turkey. "Will someone carve the turkey?"

"I'll get it!" Peter sprang up, pulling the large bird towards him. "But first! Who wants the wishbone!?" he yelled, phasing his hand through the turkey ala DL.

"ME!" Father and son yelled at once, seizing the bone from Peter and snapped it effortlessly. Micah got the large half and yelled in victory.

"Boo-ya bitch!"

"Micah! What did I tell you about those words?" DL asked his son calmly, Micah's big eyes went wider.

"Uh…not to use them in front of mom?"

"HEY! Don't make me get Jessica!"

"Yes mom!" Micah immediately answered and resumed waiting for the carving to begin. Peter shook his head and reached for the electric knife, then realized the cord couldn't reach the far wall but as he hit the on switch, it roared to life.

"Nifty power kid," Peter told the youngest Hero in the bunch.

"Thanks. Its genetics." He stated simply then watched as Peter started stabbing instead of slicing.

"Stupid fucking bird!" Peter raged, then paused and looked around then locked eyes with Niki. "You get the dark meat for that!" he told her, she snorted and looked to her husband.

"That's how I like it." A nauseated Micah rolled his eyes.

"Please don't act like I don't know what you're talking about, my IQ is higher than all yours combined."

"BURN!" Zack yelled suddenly, and Claire slapped his hand as it went higher up her thigh.

"Will you two stop thinking dirty thoughts about each other!" Matt yelled, everyone with the exception of Micah looked guilty and began to shift their eyes about. "Not all of you, just the horn dog teenagers!" There was a sigh of relief from half the table. "Ok, now that we're done with this will you stop stabbing the damn turkey and serve dinner already…uhh…dude, why are your eyes white?" Matt asked, just as Peter sliced off his hand.

"Oh joy, you're getting blood all over turkey," Nathan said dryly and they watched as Peter reached for the fallen limb and held it to the stump of a wrist. They watched as it healed and went back to normal, while he flexed his fingers.

"Thanks Claire!" Peter said cheerfully, and then paused. " Again!" he added.

"What are we going to do now?" Ando asked.

"Order pizza?" Claire suggested.

"Sounds good to me!" Mohinder agreed.

Just as everyone was about to get up, Peter sneezed and time froze. Taken off guard Hiro fell out of his chair. He pointed at Peter, as he got up.

"It was you!" Hiro told him, and clenched his eyes tight and his face shook with the effort and everyone began to move again.

In 30 minutes…or less the pizza arrived, and everyone was eating pizza with variety of toppings. While chewing Hiro spoke up from his spot on the couch between Ando and Micah, who was engrossed in the newest 9th Wonders Comic fresh from Isaac who was still humming while eating and rocking back and forth.

As Peter reached for the last piece a fork nearly impaled his hand. Looking up he was looking into the steely eye Niki, who had let her sister take over.

"That's mine!" she snapped, his hands shot away from the last slice.

"Whatever, One Life!" Everyone stared at him at this point and he sighed.

"On ABC there is a Soap Opera called One Life To Live, where a mother Viki has D.I.D her alter's name is Niki and she passed it down genetically to her daughter Jessica who's alter is Tess." All eyes were still on him; there was almost a moment where they all blinked in unison. "I had a lot of time on my hands after I quit." He muttered and went off to sulk in a corner.

"God bless you, everybody!" Hiro suddenly shouted.

_--Fin--_


End file.
